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"The Heir" is the twenty-second and final episode of Season 2 in the American sitcom Ghosts and its 40th episode overall. It premiered on May 11, 2023.

Synopsis[]

When a woman shows up claiming to be the rightful heir to Woodstone Mansion, Sam and Jay enlist the help of a lawyer. Meanwhile, Isaac tries to decide how to spend half of Sam's advance on his autobiography. Also, a surprise event takes place that could dramatically change life at the manor.

Plot[]

A young woman named Kelsey Foster shows up claiming to be the illegitimate daughter of David Woodstone and an exotic dancer he slept with in the 90s. If this were true, that would make her the legitimate heir of Woodstone Mansion. Sam and Jay consult family lawyer Dan Herbst about what to do, and he suggests a DNA test. He reveals the results of the DNA test that state Kelsey is the heir to the Woodstone Manor as she is David Woodstone's daughter. But when Trevor finds out that Kelsey's mom supposedly worked at a strip club named "Scores," he states this wouldn't be possible since David was banned from Scores after trying to get an autograph from Gary Dell'Abate and Jeff the Drunk. Jay and Amy decide to go to the gentleman's club where David Woodstone died and see if his ghost is still there and ask him himself about this "daughter" of his. When he finds out Kelsey was born in 1997 he states she can't be his because he's been sterile ("shooting blanks") since 1993 when he dipped his testicles into a scalding hot pot of coffee on a dare from his friend Ari. Jay eats strip club sushi which a ghost impotently tries to warn him will make him sick. David also reveals how he died: an aneurism while his face was pressed between two breasts. When Jay and Sam reveal that Kelsey can't be David's daughter, Kelsey reveals that the whole plan had been the lawyer Dan's idea. He needed to pay off gambling debts from betting on the New York Nicks and the Four Seasons had made a large offer on the house and so was trying to get the majority of that sale's profits for himself. Sam and Jay kick both Dan and Kelsey out of their home and do not sell to the Four Seasons, keeping Woodstone Manor. When Sam and Jay are in the driveway after picking up Pepto-Bismol for Jay's stomach ache from eating strip club sushi, they contemplate on how they almost lost the mansion and how much the ghosts have changed their lives. A light appears above the mansion, indicating one of the ghosts might have gotten sucked off. Jay hopes it's Trevor.

Samantha gets an advance from the publisher for Isaac's book. She buys Isaac a scented candle, but then Isaac finds out the advance was for $20,000. Sasappis suggests that Sam should split the advance with Isaac since half the work was his. The ghosts suggest several things he could do with the money; including get a pizza oven, save the narwhals, or get a new water heater. Nigel Chessum insists that Isaac should get to decide what to do with his money himself. But then Isaac decides he wants a new daybed from the pottery barn, making Nigel feel like their relationship is not moving forward since the daybed only sleeps one. Isaac discusses this dilemma with Thorfinn and Trevor and his hesitancy at making such a big commitment. Trevor mentions that he never moved in with anyone while alive but there was one girl who wanted to get engaged beforehand. This gives Isaac the idea to propose to Nigel. He does, and Nigel happily accepts. They make plans to move into their own room together by getting Samantha to give them one of the spare guest rooms. They decide to spend some of Isaac's book money on a king-sized bed for the both of them.

Alberta is not talking to Hetty because she is still mad about Hetty not telling her that Hetty's son Thomas murdered her, and that Hetty has known for 100 years. Pete convenes "ghost court" to determine the guilt and sentencing for Hetty's crime against Alberta. They decide to begin tomorrow. The next day when the ghost court reconvenes, Hetty doesn't deny the charges but apologizes for keeping the secret for 100 years. Alberta demands to move to the punishment phase next. Hetty is banished to the woods for one year. Alberta regrets the harshness of the punishment and that she can't spend time with her friend Hetty for a whole year. She opts to forgive Hetty so long as Hetty swaps rooms with Alberta, so Alberta has a single room (now that Isaac is moving out to share a room with Nigel) and Hetty rooms with Flower.

Quotes[]

Pete: Cheese & crackers!

Nigel: You can't just exploit his labor and take all the profits for yourself.
Hetty: Agreed: he's not a child in your iron foundry.

Isaac: Ooh, she's about to surrender; Nigel this must take you back.

Isaac: I'll ask Samantha if we can just use one of the extra guest rooms. If she says "no" I'll just tell her she's being homophobic—it gets stuff done.

Cast[]

Main cast[]

Guest cast[]

Co-starring[]

Historical notes[]

  • Thorfinn knows what DNA is because of the OJ Simpson trial, which he learned about from the fictional "How 'Bout Those 90s?" TV show
    • Thorfinn also knows who Maury Povich is for the same reason.
  • There's a reference to the Wack Pack, a 90s group of performers and personalities who regularly appeared on the Howard Stern radio show
  • Trevor references the Woody Allen movie "Annie Hall" with the quote "relationships are like sharks: either they move forward or they die."

Trivia[]

  • Season 2 of Ghosts ended with a cliffhanger.
  • Sam and Jay haven't been on a vacation in 3 years.
  • Alberta hasn't forgiven Hetty yet since their fight in the previous episode.
    • Alberta later forgives Hetty after she's almost banished to the woods for a year which Alberta implies she think its too harsh.
  • The strip club is a new location shown in the series.
  • Isaac and Nigel get serious and Isaac proposes to him and they get engaged.
  • The ghosts banish each other to the woods when they punish each other for various reasons.
    • Hetty was going to be banished for a year.
    • Thor was banished for three days for splitting Pete in half but stayed for a week where he made friends with a beetle family.
  • The Four Seasons offered Sam and Jay to buy their B&B.
  • A "being sucked off" effect is last seen.
  • Sam got 20,000 dollars as an advance for Isaac's book.
  • Sass talks about his brief relationship with Jessica to Nancy.
  • The washing machine incident from Alberta's Podcast is brought up again.
  • This is the first time Ari has been brought up since Trevor's Pants.